I wonder how much weight I have lost and gained over the course of my 58 years. Just thinking about it makes me sad. Weight and thinness was a big deal to my mom and her generation of women.  The stories she told me about the shaming of her cousin would make anyone cry. That generation, or at least my mom, didn’t try to change the values they were raised with. She believed that if it was important to her mom, it was important to her and she would parent the same way. Sadly for my mom, I didn’t end up thin. She also promised that being thin meant being happy.  I wish I knew then, as I do now, that wellness is more important dieting.

I remember I reached my full height of 5’ 2” in 6th grade when I got my period.  I think I was 105 pounds then. The next weight I recall was 135 in the beginning of high school and by senior year I was 175. My mom was beside herself. Andy called me Orca in biology class. Freddy made fun of me all around and he was supposedly one of my best friends.  By that point, my self esteem was based on my weight. Both would get worse over time. Some of my mom’s advice included that I would only attract a quality boy/man if I was thin.  I think that was supposed to motivate me to lose weight so I would have a boyfriend.  Instead I dug in harder and realized having a boyfriend wasn’t even important to me. 

I did Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous, Optifast, the 800 cal/day diet and you can probably fill in all the other diets I tried.  They all worked until they didn’t. Finally, in 2008 I had a procedure done called a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. It is a surgery for morbid obesity (BMI over 35. I think by the time of my procedure, I weighed 225). Your stomach is cut down to the size of your finger so you cannot eat much (restriction) and you don’t produce as much Ghrelin-the enzyme that causes the hunger sensation). There is no fix to weight loss.  Everything and nothing works. Wellness is more important dieting. These solutions are all tools for your weight loss use.  You are the carpenter, how you use the tools determines their effectiveness. I lost 95 pounds. The thinnest I had ever been since that 135 mark in Junior HIgh.

To this day, I cannot eat much at a meal thanks to my VSG (vertical sleeve gastrectomy) procedure. Had I used the tool as intended, I would always eat protein first (I can’t usually eat more than 2-3 oz at a meal), then veggies, then a complex carb (potato, legumes etc) if there is any room or hunger. These foods take up all the room in your now finger sized stomach so there is rarely room to go astray if you eat this way.

If you don’t use your tool as directed, it won’t work. Foods like beer, crackers, sweets and the like seem to melt in this new stomach and I could eat lots of it. These became staples of my diet by 2019 and I could maintain my weight easily at 175.  This was fine for me, actually.  I could eat and drink pretty much what I wanted and maintain this weight.  My VSG helped limit the ability to overeat too much and I simply chose to eat pretty poorly though I was delighted at the ability to maintain my weight.

Something went awry in December of 2019 and I gained about 5-7 pounds.  By the time COVID hit in March I went on what I have come to call the Cheezit diet. During the COVID months Herb and I ate whatever we wanted. Which flavor of oreos?  Couldn’t decide so I bought both. Salty snacks, cookies, cheese, crackers, potatoes with sour cream and butter, baking and you know the rest.  At the same time, the gyms were closed because I thought this way of life was going to be quite brief, I didn’t create an at home solution. I call this time the gaining of my COVID 19.

On June 6, as the world started coming out of it’s COVID cocoon, I had a lunch date with my dear friend Kenna. Nothing.  And I mean nothing fit. I got on the scale and weighed 191 pounds. Only 9 pounds away from 200. At the time I nearly died but 8 months later I am grateful I did this to myself.

Enter KETO.  Several years earlier, my massage therapist, Marianne, suggested I try KETO eating to reduce the inflammation that could be exacerbating my arthritis. I shut the idea down hard and said I would rather die than quit drinking beer.  Never mind all the other foods you can’t eat on KETO.  I did know it was a good plan for quick weight loss because any time you eliminate carbs, you lose lots of water weight. At this point in my COVID 19 weight gain, KETO sounded like a perfect solution.  I had to lose some weight as quickly as I could. I lost weight but still didn’t realize that wellness is more important dieting.

I loved KETO eating because the high fat foods replaced the desire for sugar and carbs like potatoes, bread, crackers etc.  My new snack was cheese on cucumber and one of my favorite veggies was mushrooms sauteed in heavy cream and butter. Full fat sour cream and salad dressing replaced their reduced fat alternatives. And vodka and bourbon were suitable replacements for my complete and committed love affair with hoppy high carb/calorie double IPA beers.

My weight went from 191 back to 175. And other changes took place too. My body felt better. My arthritis was a LOT better. And it was better than it was before when I weighed the same 175 pounds. So it wasn’t just losing some weight. I also had been to a rheumatologist for my arthritis and she prescribed hydroxychloroquine. I assume that helped me feel better too.

I know many people eat keto for a lifetime, but that didn’t seem like a healthy way to go forever. Logically, eliminating truly healthy food categories like complex carbs doesn’t make sense over time.  I switched from Keto to Vitalife when my friend and founder of the program, Davis Jaspers,  invited Herb and me to do a training video with him. While his program is amazing, what Davis did best for me was to ask if I was more interested in weight loss or health? Weight of course.  The whole point of a diet is to lose weight and look better. Right? Wrong.

Until this moment, no one had really talked about giving your body the healthiest foods so your body can function at its best. Eat the right foods and you will FEEL BETTER. Your brain will be clearer, your joints will be less inflamed, your skin will not look puffy, your workouts will be easier and more pleasant. 

What I finally learned after all this time trying to lose weight is that what matters most is wellness. If healthy eating means weight loss that’s great. If you feel healthier when you exercise and you want to work on that, we will make it happen. 

Given my years of exploration with wellness, numerous individuals have sought out my expertise. If my story resonates with you, together we can identify your goals, determine what motivates you, and envision your life’s possibilities. Together, you and I can create a future that allows you to embrace wellness. I welcome the opportunity to help you find the joy that comes with surrendering to stamina, vitality, strength, vigor, and making peace with food.