Do You Know a Man Who Gets Botox? | If Not, Why Not?

Do You Know a Man Who Gets Botox? | If Not, Why Not?

The topic of Botox injections keeps coming up in the most random ways in my life. I can’t explain why. I also can’t explain exactly what I find so fascinating about this as a conversation topic. But I can explain what sorts of related ideas it’s been leading me to wonder about recently, and I think that hearing my story might lead you to consider intriguing questions of your own. 

Botox and Me

I find Botox, Fillers, Wrinkle Threading with Collagen and other similar treatments to be super interesting to consider overall.

I had Botox injections 20+ years ago. I have very deep lines between my eyes. I call them “butt cracks” on my face. They are so deep that my make-up base gets caught in these lines. When I get my eyebrows waxed, she has to separate the lines to get the wax to grab the hair. In the grand scheme of things, this is a minor embarrassment, but these lines are not my best feature.

The Botox did not work for the deep furrowed lines, but my forehead looked great. Dealing with the way the injections paralyzed my face was weird. I had to change my technique for putting on mascara because I couldn’t raise my eyebrow to apply it. My facial expressions changed because some parts of my face were frozen. I didn’t go back. But the experience was fascinating.

Botox Habits

I learned from a friend that she does many of these treatments, and I was eager to hear all about which treatment does what to her face. She goes with a group of gals to the office of a medical person who does Botox in addition to other mainstream work. (I think that’s a brilliant service to offer and a great way to add revenue! It’s also efficient to do more than one person at a time.)

My friend loves the way she looks and she feels great. She is comfortable with the person who does the different injections and the procedures themself.

I have no input about anything anyone does to feel more confident. As long as it’s safe and well-researched, a consenting adult should do what makes them feel better about themself. I think, who wouldn’t want to look better? I’m all for it. 

I don’t see my face as much as my husband does. He is adamant that I DO NOT get Botox on my facial “butt cracks”. He thinks they are sexy. I do not understand this but so far, I’m willing to go along with his wishes. I didn’t like getting it done either. Once you start, you have to keep it up. More time and money. On the other hand, I love lashes. I think I’ll do that again and hope the beautiful lashes distract from the facial “butt crack”. Mostly, no one else cares, so why should I?

I’ve had this conversation with several people.

Then, a male friend of mine brought it up. He was talking about a woman he was dating. She is a Nurse Practitioner and does Botox parties. He said he wasn’t that familiar with it until he started seeing her, but now he is much more aware. He told me she has Botox parties and gives the hostess Botox for free. I am aware of these types of parties. I think they are great if you are interested in this. A Nurse Practitioner is someone easily trusted, and who could easily be researched. Another safe, efficient option. 

“Guys Don’t Do That”

This is not the point. The point is that I asked my friend if he’d gotten Botox. For context, he’s an attractive man of a certain age. Bald, fit, and has some lines he’d look better without. He was a bit taken aback by my question. 

He said that guys don’t do that. I asked why not? He told me he was happy with G-d’s gifts and his face was just fine. And he said I’d look very attractive with botox. Attractive is a word he uses often and I didn’t take any offense. I would look very attractive with Botox. Who wouldn’t? But, why wouldn’t he consider it, too? He would look very attractive as well. 

To put it more starkly: This is a single guy in his 50’s who would look better if his lady friend gave him some Botox, and he clearly had not even considered it. Yet many women, seemingly always considering it, choose to do hair, nails, lashes, plastic surgery, wrinkle creams and treatments, electrolysis, waxing in all kinds of places, dying their brows…the list is long. 

And so I wonder: Do you know a guy who gets Botox done? My point, of course, is not really about a direct answer to that, but more about why it seems so bizarre to ask this question. Do you feel there is a continued double standard at play here, in general and in your life? 

Double Standards and Feeling Stuck

The long list of ways that many women are continually addressing “attractiveness” and the ease with which many men breeze past such considerations is overwhelming. I guess it makes me sad.

I also see how it can make many of us feel stuck, causing us to take up perfectionist habits while trying to keep up with double standards, making us always wonder if something about our “beauty” routine could be affecting how we’re perceived at work, or simply causing general confusion about how treatments like Botox fit into our personal wellness plans.

I’ve previously written about our misuse of the terms “personal care” and “self care,” and I think that maybe these patterns of double standards are part of what leads to our difficulties in knowing which is which, and in turn creating a huge discrepancy in time that women feel they can spend on self care versus personal care. 

I hope that we all get the chance to think more about how much this directly affects our daily lives.

Reach out to me to share your thoughts. What’s your take away here? Do you know a guy who gets Botox? Do your experiences lead to a completely different set of questions than mine? I’d love to chat about it!

I Found the Solution to Project Overwhelm | How I Crushed Cleaning Out the Garage

I Found the Solution to Project Overwhelm | How I Crushed Cleaning Out the Garage

When I set my sights on a project it all seems like such a good idea. My latest one was cleaning and organizing our garage. And my husband, Herb and I were doing it together. The garage has not been cleaned since we moved into the house in 2004. Before you judge me, I do have a storage locker for the things I need to do my creative outlet, bobbi kahn design jewelry, so the space is not a total wreck. But as you might guess, I was immediately at risk of project overwhelm.

Let’s start at the beginning. 

Why were we cleaning the garage? Because we were updating our electrical panel and installing a 220 line to charge Herb’s new Tesla. We were also adding more outlets to the garage. The only one we had previously had was so far from the auxiliary fridge we had been running an extension cord nearly the entire length of the garage. This was not the safest solution for the long term.

Another motivation to clean and organize the garage was to see if we could make enough space there to vacate the storage locker since the rent went WAY up and that made me mad.  This created another project. What could I purge from the storage locker? And once I determined what I could live without, would I sell it? Trash it? Donate it? It seemed like these answers would be obvious and simple but I became filled with uncertainty about how to get these projects done. 

Resolving Project Overwhelm.

I reached out to my dear friend and professional organizer, Linda Goldman of Altogether Organized, for some clarity. She asked good and thought  provoking questions which I used as a guide for deciding what could stay and what had to go. My husband is another expert in helping me get rid of MY stuff. He can’t let go of much of his own, but mine? Easy. Get rid of it.

The weekend we designated for cleanup arrived. I got to the storage locker at 6:00 am. I was overwhelmed until I realized that what I was missing was a goal. If I started with an end in mind—if I knew what I was trying to accomplish—then deciding what to do with the excess stuff would be easier.

My goal was to get rid of stuff as quickly and painlessly as possible. The goal was NOT to make money, so that meant selling things on Facebook Marketplace or a garage sale was not an option. Donate or Trash. Those were the options left. And then the whole project became easy. I packed the car with items from the storage locker that I hadn’t used in years. Once I opened the bins, I could see the items were useless.  Donate? No. Trash was the only option.

And after I filled the car with items sorted into these categories, another decision became obvious: I could not give up the storage locker. I had too many things in there that were in use for both indoor and outdoor art shows.

I called Public Storage and told them the unit had become way too expensive, that I was a good renter who paid on time each month thanks to auto pay, but that I was looking for a less expensive option. Another problem solved: They offered to lower my rent.

Try It!

All of this is to say that getting things accomplished is usually easier said than done. So when you start doing it and confront that realization, don’t quit!

  • Start with the end in mind. What are you trying to accomplish? Write it down if you need to, and think about the goal as you start to make decisions. It helps to prioritize each step in your process.
  • Start slowly and take the project one step at a time. If a tendency towards perfectionism is encouraging you to try to go too fast, read this recent blog and consider what you can do to reframe your self-talk. 
  • Set a deadline. While you shouldn’t rush yourself, you should recognize that you’ve decided to take on your project for a reason. You’re motivated right now. And life is short. Make sure you can attain your goal in a reasonable amount of time. 
  • Phone a friend. Can’t quite figure it out? Your friends may have ideas on how to help you.

If you’ve tried all these solutions and you’re still feeling stuck, reach out to me. In a FREE 30-minute sample coaching session, I can help you get UNSTUCK from your project overwhelm!

Barb Mason, Coach

I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.

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