You’ve been through a lot at this point. It really doesn’t matter what age you are either. You know someone whose life was cut short by cancer, a car accident, COVID, a drug overdose, old age or died too soon. You, or someone you know, has been impacted by a life altering event by way of job loss, business loss, or loss of a relationship.
How many times has something major happened in your life or the life of someone you know and you say, “life’s too short. I’ve got to start living for today?” Seems like the moment passes and we quickly go back to what we always did.
Why do we do that? I believe it’s a combination of many things.
If we are going to live our lives differently, then we must be willing to change. And change is so darn hard.
We wait for some kind of motivation like there’s a magic motivation wand. I’m here to tell you, there isn’t one.
Without a concrete plan, items on your “bucket list” don’t get done.
What’s on your bucket list?
Do you even have one? A friend was recently diagnosed with an illness that will alter their remaining days. Retirement is within reach so they were already planning for retirement. What were they going to do once that magical day came? The list was being compiled, but now everything has changed. With limited healthy time left, they have much to consider.
I wish their list had already been written, prior to diagnosis. I wish everyone’s list was already written because then it could be studied and prioritized. Now isn’t the right time to suggest writing an obituary, but I think if we all did that today, while we’re healthy, we could decide how we wanted to spend our time and determine what matters most to us.
COVID brought life’s priorities to the top of our minds because for so many people there were incredible losses. Loss of life, of freedom, of things to do, places to go, people to see. For others there was some gain like spending precious time with the people inside your bubble, or realizing who you wanted to be with and who you didn’t miss at all.
This is a great time to write down your bucket list, before all that you learned during COVID becomes a distant memory.
Write down what matters most.
What do you want to do while you are healthy?
If you need to make more money to do it, figure out the way to do that.
If you want to travel but can’t find the time? Do it.
If you don’t have a plan, nothing will happen.
Write down your bucket list today.
Can’t figure out how to get your bucket list started or how to prioritize it? Get help from a friend or an accountability partner who will hold you to it. And if that doesn’t work, hire a coach. Because nothing matters more to YOUR coach than what YOU want from your life.
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
“I’ve got to get back on track; I’m just not motivated.”
That’s how the conversation started the other day with my client. It makes sense, right? To stay on track to accomplish everything, or even stay on track once you’ve completed something, all you need is to get motivated. Sounds accurate, but actually, I would argue that this is precisely wrong. Here’s why…
The things that get done consistently are not things we are motivated to do but rather the things for which we have a plan and from which we do not deviate.
An easy example of this is walking the dog. If the only way your dog relieves itself is when you walk it, then you must walk it whether you are motivated or not. No one is motivated to walk their dog in the cold, rain, heat, when they’re tired or just don’t feel like it. But your dog has to go, and so you do.
Think about what’s on your I’m-waiting-for-motivation list. If you’re waiting for motivation to strike, like lightning, then it’s probably not that important to you. And that’s ok. Take the item off the list because it’s just making you feel bad, sitting there, undone. If organizing your closet is on your list, and you’re waiting for the motivation to get it done without a plan? Take it off the list. And if you can’t bear to take it off the list, then it’s important enough to you, and you need to make a plan to get it done.
There are so many other things on our list that won’t get done without a real plan with defined steps and deadlines.
A growing to-do list can feel overwhelming, so start with small goals by breaking a bigger goal into smaller bite-size steps. Using the S.M.A.R.T. approach, let’s look at a common goal like getting more exercise:
S = Specific: Walk 4-days per week for 20-minutes per day
M = Measurable: 4-days per week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday
A = Attainable: Short amount of time. I can do it first thing in the morning.
R = Relevant: I want to get more exercise. I can do this anywhere.
T = Time-based: I will start this today.
What’s on your to-do list?
If it’s important enough to stay on the list or take up space in your mind, then it’s important enough to warrant a plan to get it done. And if it’s important, but you’re struggling to get it done on your own, then get an accountability partner. This can be a Certified Professional Coach that you hire or a trusted friend or colleague who will hold you accountable and not let you slide or make excuses.
The magic of working with a Professional Coach is they have only one agenda; YOU. Suppose you’ve got something important you want to accomplish but can’t figure out how to get it done. In that case, a Professional Coach will help you clarify what it is, break it down into actionable steps and hold you accountable for your commitments.
I can help you move from waiting-for-motivation to Ready-for-Action! If you’re hoping to get motivated, schedule a sample call today to learn more.
Barb Mason, Coach
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
I’m not a neuroscientist, but I am reading several different books and articles on neuroscience.
Once I started studying how our brains work, the topic seemed to come up everywhere. For example, I was at the chiropractor, and it turns out she’s exploring the brain related to how we feel pain.
We think we have free will, but our brains might say otherwise.
I used to believe that if I was thinking about making a change and it felt hard or scary, that was a clear and obvious sign that it wasn’t the correct change. But here’s the deal. Your brain’s job is to protect you. Your brain knows what it likes, and it wants what it knows. Your brain prefers the familiar and what it deems to be safe. So when you think about change, your brain senses a threat, like a tiger attack. It sends signals that say DANGER AHEAD, don’t do that. Your body senses that signal, you back down, retreat, and go back to business as usual. Your brain is just doing its job, which works well in an imminent tiger attack or real physical danger. But it doesn’t work well when you want to make changes in your life. That’s why change is so darn hard.
How do you push through and make changes anyway?
Small, consistent changes get significant results. For example, I’d like to exercise more each day. I start my day around 4:00 am, and by 4:00 pm, I’m ready to sit down, relax, read and watch the news. But what I should do is take a 10-minute walk or get on the elliptical while watching the news. I know I should do this, but if I hesitate for even 5-seconds – literally just 5-seconds, I’ll talk myself out of it. If I would just go when my reminder goes off, every day for several weeks, my brain wouldn’t fight with me on this change, and it would become a new habit.
Imagine how your brain fights even more significant changes like moving, changing jobs, training for a 5k, or getting out of a bad relationship.
“We continue to do what we’ve always done because change is hard, and the fear of the unknown seems scarier than staying stuck.”
Change often happens when there’s a breaking point, and the pain of doing what we’ve always done feels worse than moving forward. Sometimes, just sharing with someone you trust about the desire to change is the first step to making it happen. With someone on your side, the change doesn’t seem quite so hard.
5-Simple Steps to Make Meaningful Changes:
Recognize and accept that your brain is trying to protect you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t initiate changes.
Significant change can happen with small, consistent (and less scary) steps.
Often we’re compelled to change when doing nothing becomes more painful than doing something.
Be sure you have an ally who will support your desire to make a change.
Imagine how you’ll feel once you make the change happen. Visualize a future you once you’ve made this change. It can be life-changing.
Imagine Your Life’s Possibilities!
Need an ally to get started? I’m here to help. Schedule a complimentary sample session, and let’s get started today.
Barb Mason, Coach
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
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