“Let’s Set An Intention” | What Does That Even Mean?

“Let’s Set An Intention” | What Does That Even Mean?

Several months ago I was talking to a friend about making a weekend date for me to visit. When I said it I meant, Let’s pick a date during the winter months, and then I will book a flight and come to see you at your home. Then we will spend time together face to face. She said, Yes! Let’s set an intention to do that. I asked what that meant. She used her words and thoughts and meaning to explain it. And what it meant to me was, this will not happen. “Setting an intention” is a commitment to do nothing. I think this has become the new acceptable language to mean to do something good–for yourself, or someone else, or something else–that ultimately gets no one anywhere. With this friend, I let the idea go and never came back to it. Why? Because in my mind, her response was bulls**t. 

Corporate Speak: The Lazy Way To Communicate

When I worked in corporate America, I noticed that new words and phrases would be born, someone would start using them, and then suddenly everyone would be using them. It permeates the culture like a virus. I imagine a phrase like that starts when someone goes to some seminar somewhere and hears it for the first time from someone they deem a thought leader. They adopt it into their lexicon when they return from their seminar and use it in a team meeting, or a board (bored) meeting. And those participants think, wow, I’ve never heard that used like that before, but this leader is very smart so if they are using this word or phrase, I am going to use it too so I sound as smart as they do. Soon the word or phrase permeates the whole business and a new “corporate speak” phrase is born. It takes years for it to die. I find these words and phrases completely annoying. 

Intention, Intentional, Intentionality, Be Intentional, Let’s Set An Intention

This is corporate speak (and used outside the workplace as well) for not doing something, but talking about doing it like you mean it. But you don’t. I was speaking with a client a few weeks ago who referred to many things she was doing “with intention.” I asked her about being intentional and what did that mean to her. I shared that I felt like someone who was being intentional was the same as someone penciling you into their calendar. It was a “maybe” commitment. Like, I hope we do this thing. I “intend” to do this thing. Maybe I will do this thing. And I suggested that when we mean it, we are deliberate. We set the date. We make a commitment. We write it in PEN. 

Make It Matter. Be Deliberate. Write It In Pen.

I recommend you give thought to what you identify as an intention and recognize it as the commitment you might complete. And if you are deliberate, recognize that you are writing that commitment down in pen. Then make a plan to execute it. If it’s big, break it down into small, achievable steps.

If you still feel unsure about where to start, schedule a free 1-hour sample session with me today. Together, we’ll set up your plan, turning “intentions” into your future.

Barb Mason, Coach

I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.

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Did You Try Changing The Lightbulb? | Simple Solutions to Complex Problems

Did You Try Changing The Lightbulb? | Simple Solutions to Complex Problems

I have a floor lamp I simply love. It has sat in its corner, unlit for years. I want to take it somewhere for repair but it’s so heavy I haven’t managed to get it in the car. It’s okay where it is because it almost looks like an art object. Its beauty and coolness is not maximized in this unlit state. This leaves me sad and frustrated. There has seemed to be no simple solution.

The other day my friends were over to play canasta. We were sitting around the table near where this floor lamp is located and one friend asked what it was. A speaker? I explained it was a lamp in need of repair and I loved it too much to give it away. It was too heavy for me to get in and out of the car.

Old Problem, New Solution

Two of the friends entered into a low talking conversation with some laughter. What? What are you guys talking about? One said very shyly, I don’t mean to insult you, but have you tried changing the lightbulb? I said, I don’t actually remember what I have tried. It’s been like this for so long I’ve almost come to accept it as it is.

They left. And I got out the entire TUB of lightbulbs. The LEDs, the old school kind, the different wattages. I tried several. Guess what? The light came on!

Sometimes, the most simple solution wins the day. If we don’t talk about problems or issues with others when we are stuck, we may not hear someone else’s simple suggestion. And if we don’t hear it, we miss the opportunity to consider that it might work. 

Keep it Simple

Give it a try. You might get your floor lamp back. Or increase your business revenue by almost double. Imagine your life’s possibilities, and understand that you’re probably a lot closer to being unstuck from your obstacles than you realize. 

This is what working in a professional coaching relationship is all about. I help you become the very best version of yourself personally and professionally. And I help you uncover the simple steps that get you unstuck one goal at a time. 

Schedule a free 30-minute free sample session with me to learn more. You may discover that all you need is a new lightbulb!

Barb Mason, Coach

I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.

Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.

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I Found the Solution to Project Overwhelm | How I Crushed Cleaning Out the Garage

I Found the Solution to Project Overwhelm | How I Crushed Cleaning Out the Garage

When I set my sights on a project it all seems like such a good idea. My latest one was cleaning and organizing our garage. And my husband, Herb and I were doing it together. The garage has not been cleaned since we moved into the house in 2004. Before you judge me, I do have a storage locker for the things I need to do my creative outlet, bobbi kahn design jewelry, so the space is not a total wreck. But as you might guess, I was immediately at risk of project overwhelm.

Let’s start at the beginning. 

Why were we cleaning the garage? Because we were updating our electrical panel and installing a 220 line to charge Herb’s new Tesla. We were also adding more outlets to the garage. The only one we had previously had was so far from the auxiliary fridge we had been running an extension cord nearly the entire length of the garage. This was not the safest solution for the long term.

Another motivation to clean and organize the garage was to see if we could make enough space there to vacate the storage locker since the rent went WAY up and that made me mad.  This created another project. What could I purge from the storage locker? And once I determined what I could live without, would I sell it? Trash it? Donate it? It seemed like these answers would be obvious and simple but I became filled with uncertainty about how to get these projects done. 

Resolving Project Overwhelm.

I reached out to my dear friend and professional organizer, Linda Goldman of Altogether Organized, for some clarity. She asked good and thought  provoking questions which I used as a guide for deciding what could stay and what had to go. My husband is another expert in helping me get rid of MY stuff. He can’t let go of much of his own, but mine? Easy. Get rid of it.

The weekend we designated for cleanup arrived. I got to the storage locker at 6:00 am. I was overwhelmed until I realized that what I was missing was a goal. If I started with an end in mind—if I knew what I was trying to accomplish—then deciding what to do with the excess stuff would be easier.

My goal was to get rid of stuff as quickly and painlessly as possible. The goal was NOT to make money, so that meant selling things on Facebook Marketplace or a garage sale was not an option. Donate or Trash. Those were the options left. And then the whole project became easy. I packed the car with items from the storage locker that I hadn’t used in years. Once I opened the bins, I could see the items were useless.  Donate? No. Trash was the only option.

And after I filled the car with items sorted into these categories, another decision became obvious: I could not give up the storage locker. I had too many things in there that were in use for both indoor and outdoor art shows.

I called Public Storage and told them the unit had become way too expensive, that I was a good renter who paid on time each month thanks to auto pay, but that I was looking for a less expensive option. Another problem solved: They offered to lower my rent.

Try It!

All of this is to say that getting things accomplished is usually easier said than done. So when you start doing it and confront that realization, don’t quit!

  • Start with the end in mind. What are you trying to accomplish? Write it down if you need to, and think about the goal as you start to make decisions. It helps to prioritize each step in your process.
  • Start slowly and take the project one step at a time. If a tendency towards perfectionism is encouraging you to try to go too fast, read this recent blog and consider what you can do to reframe your self-talk. 
  • Set a deadline. While you shouldn’t rush yourself, you should recognize that you’ve decided to take on your project for a reason. You’re motivated right now. And life is short. Make sure you can attain your goal in a reasonable amount of time. 
  • Phone a friend. Can’t quite figure it out? Your friends may have ideas on how to help you.

If you’ve tried all these solutions and you’re still feeling stuck, reach out to me. In a FREE 30-minute sample coaching session, I can help you get UNSTUCK from your project overwhelm!

Barb Mason, Coach

I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.

Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.

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If You Could Calm Down Just One Feeling, What Would It Be? | I Shouted “ANXIETY” Out Loud While Listening to a Podcast.

If You Could Calm Down Just One Feeling, What Would It Be? | I Shouted “ANXIETY” Out Loud While Listening to a Podcast.

Our feelings are personal truths (or, for the analytically-minded, data) that we can harness to steer us in the directions that best serve us. But they can also be sources of noise or confusion as we navigate goal-setting and our everyday checklists. Working within this paradox requires firmly establishing a balance. Start by focusing on one feeling in particular that you want to quiet down.  

Do you listen to Glennon Doyle’s podcast called, “We Can Do Hard Things”?

I am a new listener and a big fan of Glennon, her wife soccer star Abby Womback and her sister, Amanda (who is usually referred to as Sister). The podcast episodes always make me think more about the topics that were discussed. During the podcast, I am usually very entertained. (Good trappings to get through an hour walk in the morning!)

During a recent episode, Glennon was talking about feeling your emotions and using them as information to guide you toward making decisions, taking action, determining what’s important, etc. It isn’t always best for you to act on your emotions immediately, but use them as information on what will be best for you to do next.

If you could quiet down just one feeling, what would it be?

I’m paraphrasing the question here, but my answer was audibly loud: “ANXIETY!”  Literally, I was walking and listening to the podcast and shouted out this response. I didn’t need a moment to reflect. I know that a certain amount of anxiety motivates me, makes me a goal-setting person and it pushes my creativity and problem solving and a lot of other good things. And I know that too much anxiety can cause a loss of good sleep, makes me prone to over-eat, makes me irritable and short tempered. and dampens my sense of humor and creativity.

How much of a feeling is too much of a feeling?

Listen to the signals your body is sending you. When anxiety serves me, I feel a light and excited sensation in my body. It’s literally in my belly and flutters up. When there is too much anxiety, I am filled with dread and the feeling is still in my belly but feels heavy and sinking. Like an anchor.

What can you do about the feelings that don’t serve you?

  1. If you are going to talk to yourself about it, be sure you do so using the same compassion for your own situation as you would show to a loved one. If you say things to yourself that you would never say to someone else, then move on to Step #2.
  2. Phone a friend or loved one. Share the situation. They may have great insight on how to help you through the situation.
  3. Have you been through something like this before? How did you make it through? This can remind you that you will get to the other side. It may even help you identify exactly how you got through this before, so you don’t have to invent the solution all over again.
  4. When it gets to be too much, make a list and prioritize things, even if just for today. If you find that having a plan for each day more easily quiets those feelings that aren’t serving you, consider prioritizing your to-do list with a calendar or paper planner or custom journal. 
  5. Get a coach. Professionals have coaches. Amateurs don’t. Schedule a free, 30-minute sample coaching session with me to get UNSTUCK and, “Imagine your life’s possibilities!”

No matter how loud your feelings get, they can be used to bring you closer to your goals. Call me at 708-RUSTUCK (708-787-8825) to chat with me about how to live in balance with your feelings. 

Barb Mason, Coach

I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.

Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.

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