Our feelings are personal truths (or, for the analytically-minded, data) that we can harness to steer us in the directions that best serve us. But they can also be sources of noise or confusion as we navigate goal-setting and our everyday checklists. Working within this paradox requires firmly establishing a balance. Start by focusing on one feeling in particular that you want to quiet down.  

Do you listen to Glennon Doyle’s podcast called, “We Can Do Hard Things”?

I am a new listener and a big fan of Glennon, her wife soccer star Abby Womback and her sister, Amanda (who is usually referred to as Sister). The podcast episodes always make me think more about the topics that were discussed. During the podcast, I am usually very entertained. (Good trappings to get through an hour walk in the morning!)

During a recent episode, Glennon was talking about feeling your emotions and using them as information to guide you toward making decisions, taking action, determining what’s important, etc. It isn’t always best for you to act on your emotions immediately, but use them as information on what will be best for you to do next.

If you could quiet down just one feeling, what would it be?

I’m paraphrasing the question here, but my answer was audibly loud: “ANXIETY!”  Literally, I was walking and listening to the podcast and shouted out this response. I didn’t need a moment to reflect. I know that a certain amount of anxiety motivates me, makes me a goal-setting person and it pushes my creativity and problem solving and a lot of other good things. And I know that too much anxiety can cause a loss of good sleep, makes me prone to over-eat, makes me irritable and short tempered. and dampens my sense of humor and creativity.

How much of a feeling is too much of a feeling?

Listen to the signals your body is sending you. When anxiety serves me, I feel a light and excited sensation in my body. It’s literally in my belly and flutters up. When there is too much anxiety, I am filled with dread and the feeling is still in my belly but feels heavy and sinking. Like an anchor.

What can you do about the feelings that don’t serve you?

1. If you are going to talk to yourself about it, be sure you do so using the same compassion for your own situation as you would show to a loved one. If you say things to yourself that you would never say to someone else, then move on to Step #2.
2. Phone a friend or loved one. Share the situation. They may have great insight on how to help you through the situation.
3. Have you been through something like this before? How did you make it through? This can remind you that you will get to the other side. It may even help you identify exactly how you got through this before, so you don’t have to invent the solution all over again.
4. When it gets to be too much, make a list and prioritize things, even if just for today. If you find that having a plan for each day more easily quiets those feelings that aren’t serving you, consider prioritizing your to-do list with a calendar or paper planner or custom journal. 
5. Get a coach. Professionals have coaches. Amateurs don’t. Schedule a free, 30-minute sample coaching session with me to get UNSTUCK and, “Imagine your life’s possibilities!”

No matter how loud your feelings get, they can be used to bring you closer to your goals. Call me at 708-RUSTUCK (708-787-8825) to chat with me about how to live in balance with your feelings.