I have a floor lamp I simply love. It has sat in its corner, unlit for years. I want to take it somewhere for repair but it’s so heavy I haven’t managed to get it in the car. It’s okay where it is because it almost looks like an art object. Its beauty and coolness is not maximized in this unlit state. This leaves me sad and frustrated. There has seemed to be no simple solution.
The other day my friends were over to play canasta. We were sitting around the table near where this floor lamp is located and one friend asked what it was. A speaker? I explained it was a lamp in need of repair and I loved it too much to give it away. It was too heavy for me to get in and out of the car.
Old Problem, New Solution
Two of the friends entered into a low talking conversation with some laughter. What? What are you guys talking about? One said very shyly, I don’t mean to insult you, but have you tried changing the lightbulb? I said, I don’t actually remember what I have tried. It’s been like this for so long I’ve almost come to accept it as it is.
They left. And I got out the entire TUB of lightbulbs. The LEDs, the old school kind, the different wattages. I tried several. Guess what? The light came on!
Sometimes, the most simple solution wins the day. If we don’t talk about problems or issues with others when we are stuck, we may not hear someone else’s simple suggestion. And if we don’t hear it, we miss the opportunity to consider that it might work.
Keep it Simple
Give it a try. You might get your floor lamp back. Or increase your business revenue by almost double. Imagine your life’s possibilities, and understand that you’re probably a lot closer to being unstuck from your obstacles than you realize.
This is what working in a professional coaching relationship is all about. I help you become the very best version of yourself personally and professionally. And I help you uncover the simple steps that get you unstuck one goal at a time.
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
Do you brag about being a perfectionist or aspire to perfectionism?
Many of us do. Usually, when people refer to themselves as being a perfectionist, the label is worn as a badge of honor. It is something I aspired to be, feeling like the habit of perfectionism was important to getting my work done well. I had never heard anyone say, “I can’t get my work done because I am a perfectionist.” Instead they would suggest that, while their work product might be delayed, it was just because they were reviewing their already great work to make sure it was perfect. Here is the reality.
There is no such thing as perfect. And even though projects are delayed with the implication that the extra time makes them perfect, they aren’t. Perfection doesn’t exist. And that’s okay!
Identifying Perfectionism
According to Merriam-Webster, medically speaking, perfectionism is “A disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable; especially : the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.”
Aspiring to work with a perfectionist attitude, then, puts us in a position to feel like failures because we weren’t able to achieve the impossible. Not a great way to get things done, or feel good about the work you produce, is it?
I usually make a typo in every email or text. Auto-correct doesn’t help. Neither does a failure to proofread. But at least I get the email or memo or text out there! It would be easy to spend time and energy worrying about these errors, but instead I remember that I’m not an editor, hope I’m forgiven for my mistakes, and move forward knowing that I can excel at building the relationships and accomplishing the tasks I was sending the text for in the first place.
Where do you see yourself on this spectrum? Are you setting impossible demands on yourself, and starting to see your overall happiness or your role at work change because of them?
According to Psychology Today, there are some identifiable signs that someone might be a perfectionist: “Perfectionists set unrealistically high expectations for themselves and others. They are quick to find fault and overly critical of mistakes. They tend to procrastinate a project out of their fear of failure. They shrug off compliments and forget to celebrate their success. Instead, they look to specific people in their life for approval and validation.”
Whether this feels familiar to you right now, or you have noticed yourself aspiring to habits that will eventually lead to you feeling like this, take a moment to be softer on yourself. Excelling at what you do means your time is best spent developing new skills, practicing the skills you already have, and enjoying the way you do what you do. Trying to achieve a mythical perfection is just not with it.
What to Do Now
For us to feel our most fulfilled in our careers and in our lives, it’s important that we do celebrate successes. That we do know when to submit our projects, to turn work “off.” That we don’t feel overwhelmed, or like something is wrong with us, when we make small mistakes. To get started as you move beyond perfectionism, consider these techniques:
Write a list of your recent accomplishments and allow yourself a few minutes to feel deeply happy about what you have done. If this feels awkward at first, consider starting with a gratitude list, with a focus on opportunities and things you have worked hard for.
Begin to reframe your internal narrative of failure. The next time you feel like you did something “imperfect,” take ten minutes to think about what went well. Or, re-focus your “failure” as a natural part of the process, an opportunity to learn rather than something that causes you pain.
Give yourself early deadlines and stick to them. Don’t overwhelm yourself with pressure, but do give yourself the opportunity to prove your fear of failure wrong: You have it in you to accomplish your tasks both well and on time.
Try delegating tasks and projects, beginning with simple ones as you get used to it, and moving on to those projects you’ve always felt only you can do. Feel the relief of letting go!
Schedule a call with me! With a free 30-minute sample coaching session, we can chat about the patterns that are making you feel stuck. Together, we can help you begin to feel UNSTUCK from the expectations of perfectionism, and transition to satisfaction with a job well done.
Barb Mason, Coach
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
The newest trend in workplaces across the country is early retirement. Fresh perspectives on how and when to retire are in the air, and many of you are likely considering retiring early. Make sure you consider, also, what it will really mean for you.
So, Retiring Early Is a Trend?
Yes. Retiring early is a wonderful gift many workers are giving themselves as a result of many factors.
COVID provided an opportunity for workers to imagine their life’s possibilities and life looks way better in retirement.
Workers really did start saving for retirement at their first job and they have more money now than they thought they would.
Some workers started saving young and never got married or had children. Now they really have more money than they thought they would.
Many workers are done with what they are doing. It’s just too…much.
“Take this job and shove it.”
What do I mean when I refer to this trend as early retirement?
The traditional time to retire is set at somewhere between 65-67 depending on the year of your birth. You are eligible for medicare at 65. YAY!!!!! You can start taking social security as early as 62. So when I refer to early retirement, I mean you are leaving what you are currently doing before social security at 62 and before medicare at 65.
Why is the trend toward early retirement happening?
Here is what I’m seeing out there. Many of you have very big jobs or successful businesses from which you are making an exit. You have been tethered to your devices more often than not and have a love/hate relationship with how often your life gets interrupted by something pressing at work. You have been working very hard for well over 35 years in your professional life and it is no longer fulfilling.
What could go wrong when I retire early?
Without a plan for transition in place, you could die of boredom and get depressed because you feel useless. I exaggerate about the dying of boredom but I’m serious about getting depressed. Big changes like retirement take time to get to get used to. Waking up that first Monday morning is a giddy feeling. Even the first week can feel like vacation. That next week starts to get weird.
Beyond not knowing what to do with all my time, what else can go wrong?
I’ll assume you have a sound financial plan and a trusted financial advisor who is helping you plan your money. Just be sure you have thought through and researched health insurance. COBRA lasts for 18 months. Does that carry you through until you are medicare eligible? If it doesn’t, what’s your plan for that?
There is so much to celebrate about making a change as dramatic as retiring, whether you are going to start your dream job in your second act career or you’re planning to pursue your passions in another fresh way. You can ensure it goes perfectly as long as you have a plan.
Not sure you have it quite figured out? If you’re bored of the financial details and want to begin the fun part — You are RETIRING!!!!! You get to bring a super fresh approach to imagining your life’s possibilities! — contact me to schedule a free sample coaching session.
Barb Mason, Coach
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
You’d never say “no” if someone told you they could increase your revenue without making complex, sweeping changes to your business plan. So it’s time to get unstuck from the routine that has kept you from taking the simple, easy step that will make all the difference.
When was the last time you examined your fees?
I am working with a client who has a full time job and a side business. The money she makes from her side business goes into her vacation fund. I asked her what she charged and she said $35.
I asked her a few additional questions, which I encourage you to ask yourself as you read:
Q.When was the last time you examined your fees?
A. I’m not really sure.
Q.When was the last time you looked at what the market was charging?
A. Never.
Q. Have you considered that you may not be charging enough?
A. People tell me that all the time.
Q. How many years have you been doing this work?
A. 30 years.
By charging less than the going rate, you tell your customers you offer an inferior service
I told her that I use a service that she offers. Only they do less than what she does and they charge $100. I told her that my sister uses a service similar to what she does and they charge $75. By charging less than the going rate, you tell your customers that you offer an inferior service. Often you fear that by raising your rates, your customer will leave you. If you are still the most affordable at what you offer, why would they leave you? You are a trusted service provider. You have years of experience in your business.
Do the math
What would happen if you raised your rate to $50? It’s still way under the market rate but it’s a 43% increase. What if you raised your rate to $75? Do the math. Take your sales from last year. Number of customers times $35 in column 1. Now take the same number of customers and multiply it by $50 in column 2. For grins do the same for $75 in column 3. Your vacation fund is growing.
Get Creative With Your Price Increase
The leap from $35 to $75 is a big one. Reward your current customers by thanking them for their loyalty and letting them know you are raising your rates. Because they have been a loyal customer, their rate will increase from $35 to $50. You already have done the math to know what that will mean to you. Charge new customers $75. Get really good at explaining the value you add with your experience, references, and all the extras you do.
If you’re feeling stuck on ideas for how to gracefully and successfully implement your price increase, research strategies online or schedule a session with me to chat about it!
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
You’ve been through a lot at this point. It really doesn’t matter what age you are either. You know someone whose life was cut short by cancer, a car accident, COVID, a drug overdose, old age or died too soon. You, or someone you know, has been impacted by a life altering event by way of job loss, business loss, or loss of a relationship.
How many times has something major happened in your life or the life of someone you know and you say, “life’s too short. I’ve got to start living for today?” Seems like the moment passes and we quickly go back to what we always did.
Why do we do that? I believe it’s a combination of many things.
If we are going to live our lives differently, then we must be willing to change. And change is so darn hard.
We wait for some kind of motivation like there’s a magic motivation wand. I’m here to tell you, there isn’t one.
Without a concrete plan, items on your “bucket list” don’t get done.
What’s on your bucket list?
Do you even have one? A friend was recently diagnosed with an illness that will alter their remaining days. Retirement is within reach so they were already planning for retirement. What were they going to do once that magical day came? The list was being compiled, but now everything has changed. With limited healthy time left, they have much to consider.
I wish their list had already been written, prior to diagnosis. I wish everyone’s list was already written because then it could be studied and prioritized. Now isn’t the right time to suggest writing an obituary, but I think if we all did that today, while we’re healthy, we could decide how we wanted to spend our time and determine what matters most to us.
COVID brought life’s priorities to the top of our minds because for so many people there were incredible losses. Loss of life, of freedom, of things to do, places to go, people to see. For others there was some gain like spending precious time with the people inside your bubble, or realizing who you wanted to be with and who you didn’t miss at all.
This is a great time to write down your bucket list, before all that you learned during COVID becomes a distant memory.
Write down what matters most.
What do you want to do while you are healthy?
If you need to make more money to do it, figure out the way to do that.
If you want to travel but can’t find the time? Do it.
If you don’t have a plan, nothing will happen.
Write down your bucket list today.
Can’t figure out how to get your bucket list started or how to prioritize it? Get help from a friend or an accountability partner who will hold you to it. And if that doesn’t work, hire a coach. Because nothing matters more to YOUR coach than what YOU want from your life.
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
“I’ve got to get back on track; I’m just not motivated.”
That’s how the conversation started the other day with my client. It makes sense, right? To stay on track to accomplish everything, or even stay on track once you’ve completed something, all you need is to get motivated. Sounds accurate, but actually, I would argue that this is precisely wrong. Here’s why…
The things that get done consistently are not things we are motivated to do but rather the things for which we have a plan and from which we do not deviate.
An easy example of this is walking the dog. If the only way your dog relieves itself is when you walk it, then you must walk it whether you are motivated or not. No one is motivated to walk their dog in the cold, rain, heat, when they’re tired or just don’t feel like it. But your dog has to go, and so you do.
Think about what’s on your I’m-waiting-for-motivation list. If you’re waiting for motivation to strike, like lightning, then it’s probably not that important to you. And that’s ok. Take the item off the list because it’s just making you feel bad, sitting there, undone. If organizing your closet is on your list, and you’re waiting for the motivation to get it done without a plan? Take it off the list. And if you can’t bear to take it off the list, then it’s important enough to you, and you need to make a plan to get it done.
There are so many other things on our list that won’t get done without a real plan with defined steps and deadlines.
A growing to-do list can feel overwhelming, so start with small goals by breaking a bigger goal into smaller bite-size steps. Using the S.M.A.R.T. approach, let’s look at a common goal like getting more exercise:
S = Specific: Walk 4-days per week for 20-minutes per day
M = Measurable: 4-days per week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday
A = Attainable: Short amount of time. I can do it first thing in the morning.
R = Relevant: I want to get more exercise. I can do this anywhere.
T = Time-based: I will start this today.
What’s on your to-do list?
If it’s important enough to stay on the list or take up space in your mind, then it’s important enough to warrant a plan to get it done. And if it’s important, but you’re struggling to get it done on your own, then get an accountability partner. This can be a Certified Professional Coach that you hire or a trusted friend or colleague who will hold you accountable and not let you slide or make excuses.
The magic of working with a Professional Coach is they have only one agenda; YOU. Suppose you’ve got something important you want to accomplish but can’t figure out how to get it done. In that case, a Professional Coach will help you clarify what it is, break it down into actionable steps and hold you accountable for your commitments.
I can help you move from waiting-for-motivation to Ready-for-Action! If you’re hoping to get motivated, schedule a sample call today to learn more.
Barb Mason, Coach
I am a coach and jewelry designer. At UNSTUCK Coaching, I help middle-agers make changes toward the most fulfilling employment experience. As my own first coaching client, I know what it takes to get UNSTUCK.
Unlock access to a FREE coaching session and downloadable journaling guide when you sign up for the UNSTUCK newsletter.
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